Thursday, January 28, 2010

Los Diablos continues to roll despite slight letdown

You would think that sitting on top of our division and having the winless "B" team as our next opponent might make us a little overconfident. Couple that with the total catastrophic meltdown that the Misfits are suffering through it set up as a perfect opportunity to put our collective foot on the throat of the division and end this race early. We have, however, choked in the past in this type of scenario. How would we react on this particular night?

The team came out on fire led by the leadoff man's 213 (in light of the brewing bad blood regarding the self ingratiating positive press afforded this individual I will forgo mentioning him by name), Pat and Jim hit the 190's and Brian was a pin shy with a 189. If not for the milktoast effort of 150 by the 4th bowler we would have shattered the Los Diablos' all time high game.
Bottomline, a 143 pin shellacking. Talk of a 5 X 500 and a 7 - 0 sweep now was quite prominent.

How did we react? 159 pins less than our first game, a mark less first frame and a 124 and a 117 game (insert names as you see fit). For as bad as we bowled, we only lost by a mere 15 pins, therefore giving the other team their first 2nd half points after starting out 0-23. I'll be the first to admit I am not sure how the team scoring goes and Brian always seems to know what we need to do in the 10th to win, but I am pretty sure that a gutter after a spare in the 10th doesn't help, right?

In the third game we bowled below our average (792) yet still managed to win. taking the evening 5-2. Not a bad effort considering the disturbing and distracting 4 inches of hairy butt crack we were subjected to each time Rich bowled. Oh yeah, only Pat and I noticed it since no one else on the team watches anyone else bowl, they only watch the pins (so they homophobically claim). Not sure who those people were with which I had weekly conversations regarding the different bowling styles such as boner leg Rosary Florist man, Corkscrew Hank, Double bird Corn, gyration Jim K. and long arm Dave Weil. Oh well, glad Pat and I share more than a name and are secure enough in our mandhoods to observe everything in our surroundings and not be so paranoid to comment on it (i.e. sweaty crack fat man in the other league). So for the others on the team who did not notice.....there was more crack on our lane than Harlem!!

Jim 596 (194, 215, 187), No Name 544 (213, 160, 171), Pat 498 (190, 161, 147), Brian 444 (189, 117, 138)...nice way to offset the 189 effort with a 117 to get to your 150 average!!. Finally, Milktoast 423 (150, 124, 149). This fine 141 aveage earned him the right to buy shots. We are still beer frame free.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Readers outraged......alleged biased reporting!!

Scouring through reams of old copy and compiling some "statistics" of his own, the captain felt it was time to back his anchorman's claims and finally end the controversy over the alleged lack of fair and unbiased reporting. The "take that, you prejudiced @#%hole" sentiment was clearly felt as Brian exposed the truth regarding the frivolous nonsense that the readers of this blog have been subjected to over the last few years. Clearly offended by the author's lame attempt earlier in the week to "prove" how fair the reporting has been, Brian laid out a laundry list of facts that showed that indeed this blog was a self serving forum in which the author spoke poorly of his teammates and protected the sanctity of the family. All I can say is I merely call it as I see it (and then embellish it so that it makes me smile).

Now, on to the recap of this week's contest. Everyone was on top of their game right off the bat, all bowling above average. Everyone except Jim, that is. As this year's new anchor he has been carrying the team, continually exceeding his outstanding performance from the week before. As a team we all secretly fear there will be an off season Wilbur Marshall-like bidding war for his services from the likes of the Rat Bastards or Spare Dogs. Unthinkable you say? No one ever thought small town Mississippi boy Bret Favre would leave the Packers and go to big city New York but he did. Could Jim's slow start have been caused by the pressure of being the only one on the team not carrying an embarrassing average or could it have been another case of an angry bowel like he experienced last year? Whatever it was, it clearly was frustrating Jim that he could not hit his mark on the way to a 134. At one point Pat hunched over the table, looked cautiously from side to side and with a very concerned, hushed tone stated: "He's gonna blow before Rocco!" We were all glad to see he kept his cool despite only beating the girly 120's by a mere 5 pins.

Another week passed and still no beer frame, however, we did get another tequila frame courtesy of Dan. Beer and or tequila frames usually have a certain level of anticipation and excitement in them as each bowler steps to the line. Are they up to the challenge or are they the ones to do the bailout? Worse yet, will they have to hit the hip and buy (therefore killing the beer frame and drinks on the house)? Do you root for the teammate's good fortune of another strike or do you secretly hope for a miss so that you do not have to buy? It's a delicate line that we all know has no impact on the outcome. However, on this particular night, Dan did not get to experience any of this as he was bowling in the next frame and was not aware that his non strike first ball in the previous frame had set up a tequila frame. While he walked back to his teammates without a care in the world his heart sank when he heard the fateful words "you might as well keep walking". The team gleefully pointed out that on this night and in this frame the tequila would be on Dan. Having missed out on any of the normal thrill that one usually experiences as a tequila (beer) frame unfolds, I can now relate to what the Sargent was referring to in Full Metal Jacket.....I didn't even get the courtesy of a "reach around" as I was getting #%&%'d up the &$$!!!

Well, I see I am on paragraph 4, and as Brian so painstakingly pointed out, my average entry is only 2 paragraphs (now that's a fact I would like to validate). Jim rallied in games 2 and 3 with a very nice 217, 223 combo and ended with highest series of the evening: 574. As these outstanding games were unfolding, the team discussed how it was good to have Jim "back". We all nodded our heads in agreement when Pat stated: "Thank God he's back...he was on the verge of tears". Speaking of 2 quote Pat, he had the next highest series of 573 (202, 189, 182). Dan followed with a 516 (177, 155, 184) and JD's 168, 179, 164 totaled for a 501. Sorry, JD, no big news flashes for a 501 like Mark got for his 500. Brian, possibly distracted by his impending investigative reporting, turned in a lukewarm (if not consistent) performance of 156, 144, 149 for a 449. That is 4 /5 of a five for five evening which lead to a 7-0 sweep.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Ass, wait...a successful evening

Inspired by Jake and Elwood Blues' mission from God to get the band back together, the captain felt it was time to reunite the starting lineup for Los Diablos. JD looked refreshed and ready to go and Jim M's enthusiasm was hard to ignore as he came in skipping, wildly waiving a piece of paper. This image brought back fond memories of the time my own son came home from preschool after he had received his first smiley face sticker for a job well done. Once Jim caught his breath, he was able to recall the glory from 2 days prior. Taking a perfect game into the 10th, Jim ended with a 279. Nicccceeee!!!

With the starting lineup back together and the momentum from the 7-0 performance last week, the stars seemed to be aligned for another solid week. That is until we started bowling. A 232 pin!!! This was one to forget and does not need to be mentioned again...ever. The team score of 763 (our average is 797) was paced by Brian's 113. Not much to say here but it does make one ponder.......if a score in the 120's is "girly", what on earth can be used to described a score in the teens?

The second and third games saw steady team improvement as the scores increased to 811 and 932. The 932 included 3 bowlers (Dan 222, Jim 213 and Pat 200) reaching the 200 plateau, potentially a 1st ever (although JD thinks we had 4 once). This improvement led to two victories and a 4-3 evening record. There really was no realistic hope for a 5 point effort after the huge hole we had dug ourselves into in the first game.

No mention of beer frames or tequila frames, you ask? Oh, yes, we had our opportunities. As usual, when Jim steps up to the line with the chance to put the lime in the shot, the side bets started to fly. "He's clutch, start grabbin' your wallet" and "Yea, but he has been Mr. Bailout this year" are just a couple of the many comments that come out. You can almost guess what happened based on the fact that we have had 0 beer frames and only 2 tequila frames all year. Yep....another Muck bailout. The bowling gods only give out a certain amount of strikes to each bowler and Jim had apparently used up his quota on Sunday. While there were no shots to be consumed after this first opportunity, Jim did come through on the next 2 tries. Yes!! A 1st ever 2 tequila night!!

Speaking of 1st's....Pat and Dan (with strikes in the 8th and 9th) had the rare opportunity to end a game (and the evening) with the turkey, ham bone, cinco equis combo platter. Although they both turkeyed they were unable to hit number 4 and 5 in a row. Nice ending tonight after a rough beginning. Scores for the evening: Jim 575 (169.193, 213), Dan 561 (171, 168, 222) Pat 518 (158, 160, 200), JD 467 (152, 152, 163) and Brian 385 (113, 138, 134). Hey, at least you beat Jim's 1st and 3rd game total of 382!!!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Prybel sparks the team to a 7-0 evening

After having held the top spot in the standings the majority of the 1st half of the season and then seeing an 0-14 stretch sink them into 2nd, Los Diablos was determined to come out strong in the 2nd half of the season. Sensing a little burnout, the team captain benched Jim M. and JD in favor of Jim H and Mark P. (not to be confused with Mark L). For any regular readers of this blog who may be wondering who is Mark L., you may better know him as FNG. While we have had a new 5th team regular each year, he was the only one to have been bestowed the nickname "FNG". Refer to any of a number of previous blog entries to remind yourself why (plus the author just likes the term FNG and this allowed him to use it once again!).

With 2 new bowlers to integrate, the team captain created a lineup that could be best described as a "Doyle sandwich". Dan on top and Pat on the bottom with Mark, Jim H and Brian serving as the bacon, lettuce and tomato in the middle. The saying "it is better on top" held true on this night as Dan had a career evening with a 592 (193, 190 and 209). While this appeared to be quite impressive in the mind of Dan, apparently it was not in the minds of the 2 benched regulars. In 2 separate e-mail exchanges with said benched bowlers, they both congratulated Dan on the 7-0 evening and both stated: "heard Mark had a 500". When questioned if he had heard of the 592 series, JD replied; "you tend to hear about 500 or 600 series, you usually don't hear anyone talk about a 592 series". I guess I can't argue with that.

Speaking of Mark's 500 series, it consisted of a 170, 152 and a 178. Mark stated that the 178 was his highest in competition but the team historian (how many roles on this team do I have?)must take exception to that. Please refer to Mark's 181 as listed in the newly updated "Career Highs"section of this blog (the averages are updated for the last 3 years also). Pat turned in a 3rd consecutive nice series (527.), while Brian had a solid 468 and Jim H.'s 147, 146, 148 showed an amazing level of consistency. Who would have thought 2 subs would help produce games of 827, 851 and 850? As in the NFL , the team is only as strong as its 53rd member.

All in all a very good night despite some controversy over what constitutes a "tequila bailout". One scenario did occur and there was no controversy on this one. Dan opened a frame without a strike and then Mark, Jim and Brian all got strikes. Dan was all but ordering the shots knowing that BagsPat was now merging with BolwerPat and a 4th consecutive team strike was almost a foregone conclusion. Pat confidently stepped up and proceeded to throw what has been termed a "Doyle bailout". There would be no beer or tequila frames on this otherwise successful evening.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Mid term report - half the season is over

After leading the standings much of the year, sometime in November we fell behind the dreaded Neal and the baldheaded mini me's. Two consecutive 0-7 weeks will do that to you. With first place now out of reach the goal was to hang on to 2nd as we hit the mid season break. Fortunately, we picked an opportune time to have a career day as a team. One week before position week and paced by Pat's insane 629 series (206,207, 216) the team was over 900 in all 3 games, had a scratch total of 2751 and a handicap series of 3702. Jim tried to keep pace with Pat as he checked in with a 613 (224, 197, 192). JD (521), Dan (520) and Brian (468) all contributed solid efforts also.

The 7-0 effort was not enough to catch the Misfits as they had us by 9 going into the head to head completion of position week. The magic from the week before was not there as we were not up for the challenge and lost the evening 2-5. Al tough Pat cooled off from the previous week, I think we all agree that some of BagsPat is starting to creep into BowlerPat and that is a good thing. Four of his last 6 games are over 200.

Let's make the 2nd half of the season belong to Los Diablos and finish strong.