Conspiracy theories abound at December to Remember Bagfest

It was supposed to be a day filled with male bounding. You know the type of day we all dream about......eating chili, sippin' beer, playin' some bags. A testosterone tainted get together to have some fun and to celebrate the simple joy of being men. No big elaborate plans, no dramas regarding what was to be served or how it was to be served. Hey, its December, its cold, lets throw some bags!!!

On the surface all things listed above seemed to be accomplished. Fourteen guys getting together to play a random draw doubles tournament followed by a random seeded singles tournament. Conspiracy theory number 1: Was defending Bagtoberfest double winner Pat randomly matched (handicapped) with rookie bag thrower Mike? Could the (what seemed to be) powerhouse team of JD and Jim H. being matched up and landing in the opposite side of the bracket truly be random? Does seem a little suspicious. However, JD / Jim H. only made it the 2nd round via a first round bye and then they ran into the buzz saw known as team Dan /Bill H. May have been a case of the "looking ahead to the next match" syndrome. There would be no victory for JD / Jim H on this December day.

All team Pat / Mike did was plow through teams of Mark/Andy and Bill R./Jim M. (another pre-tournament favorite) on their way to dominating Dan /Bill H. in the finals. Pat was now 3 for 3 in Double D's bagfest competitions.

Conspiracy theory number 2: tournament host Dan (and brother to Pat) landing in the opposite side of the bracket from Pat.....possibly ensuring himself of at least a 2nd place payout......hmmm!? Or could it be that Jim M. (creator of most of these theories) got a first round bye, thus ensuring he would not suffer the humiliation of a 1st round departure? Conspiracy or not, the games still had to be played and winners declared. Pat and Dan did indeed meet in the finals. Pat defeated JD and Jim M. on the way to the championship and Dan beat Mark, Steve and Andy before "losing" to Pat in the finals. Four tournaments and 4 championships for Pat....congratulations.

P.S. anyone who witnessed the singles tournament would be more than a little suspicious that Dan did not win the title. He clearly was on top of his game as he obtained the never before achieved double, double skunk on his way to the finals. If you are unfamiliar with this term, it is when you skunk your opponent 2 games in a row and then skunk your next opponent 2 games in a row. After riding this skunk-cubed momentum to a first game victory over Pat you could almost feel the compassion Dan had for his little brother. After watching BowlerPat struggle every Tuesday Dan knew that a loss in bags would just about devastate Pat. Los Diablos needs BagsPat to remain strong if there is any hope for BowlerPat. Congratulations Pat and thanks Dan.

Hey Brian! You already got that one!

With Dan on injured reserve (or was he just avoiding being part of the upcoming beat down?), Los Diablos was looking for a spark to get back on track. Unfortunately, trying to get back on track against quality bowlers is never a good idea. With our team average hovering around 800 all year, we all know that if we just bowl our average good things will come. About that theory.....we bowled 761 (lost by 18), a 771 (lost by 107) and a 665! (lost by 125). OUCH. Our handicapped score was 999. A quick look thru the archives reveals a 681 was our previous low this season. Last year we had a 677 with Scott A. as a sub. By the way, Scott bowled a 308 series that night!!!! That's not all that bad if you are on the Kennedy Jr high girl's bowling team. But a grown man? Wow! Our lowest point last year was a 636, which consisted of a 121 from Brian, a 143 from Pat, a 150 from Jim, a 118 from JD and a 104 from FNG!!! We suck!! There is one thing in common to this week's 665 and last years 636....what could it be?

Back to the evening's bowling. During one game, Los Diablos threw 4 gutter balls. As much as he tried, Brian was unable to join the others in the gutter spree as his ball just managed to clip the 10 pin for a 1. So much for the old theory that Brian can't pick up the 10 pin. Just to show it was not a fluke, Brian put his 2nd ball in the exact same location, this time hitting no pins. This feat prompted the league chairman (and opponent) to shout out: "Hey Brian, you already got that one!"

Dan will be back (assuming the back allows) and Jim H. will be there to cheer us on as we hope to bet back on track and end the first half strong.

Back on track

After the previous week's effort where all 3 games were in the 700's, the team rebounded and bowled all three games in the 800's this week (824, 822, 830). When we lost the first game by only 6 pins we all were speculating out loud where we could have mustered up another 7 pins to pull out the victory. Was it the open frames in the 10th or the missed spares in the 5th? Bottom line is all frames by all bowlers contribute to a victory or a loss. Fortunately for us, we bounced back to take the 2nd and 3rd game as well as the series 5-2. As Jim is always quick to point out: "We always win 5-2 when I am here!" Maybe a little less fishing and hunting and a little more dedication may be in order.

We fell short of the 5 x 500 (actually nobody shot in the 500's) but Jim's 605 was definitely note worthy and JD's 497 gives us hope that the anchorman that we all saw in JD last year would soon emerge. We also had three 200+ games with Jim finishing with a 203, 226 and JD bowling a 203.

The team had a comfortable 10 point lead in the standings as we once again ventured out of our division to take on the 2nd best team in the league. As we have proven many times in the past, all we need to do is bowl our average or a little above and we have a very good chance of winning the evening. Handicaps are a great thing and even without Muck (also known as the new anchorman?) in attendance we felt good about our chances.

Putting up our 800 team average against their 952 may intimidate some teams....but not Los Diablos!! Not only did we shrink like a frightened turtle from the challenge, we tossed out a season low 681.......yes, 681. That would be 119 pins below average. The sad thing is we only lost by 49. Two bowlers failing to reach the girly 120's and another achieving it could explain the stellar performance.

Game 2 we stepped it up to a 730 and game 3 we were really smoking with a 754. Unfortunately for us, their score improved every game also, leading to the shameful 0-7. What we did manage to establish was an official reference name to Brian's tendency to clear out the 3 left pins on his first ball.....which will now forever be referred to as a "BP3". Editor's note: while the BP3 refers to knocking down the 4,7,8 pins, the team established frequently it could also be used for a 6,9,10 knockdown.

As the 3rd game was concluding, the talk of a team 5 x 500 seemed ludicrous as 3 bowlers were struggling to flirt with a 400. The totals for the night: Pat 503 (could he be back?), Dan 492 (right on his 164 average), JD 402(got him talking about lunch time practice sessions), Brian 394 (has he EVER talked about a practice session?) and Mark 370 (he sure seems like a better bowler with the new ball but the results have not come yet). These scores prompted a mandatory 4th game team practice session. The only significant thing that came out of the 4th game was Mark's 1st two frames when he did a Prybel followed by a BP3. Yes, he missed them all then picked up the spare and then only knocked down 3 and also picked up that spare.

As if the 0-7 evening could be any worse, the Misfits took all seven and are now within 3 games of the lead.

The tension was high as the 1st place Diablos were matched up with the 2nd place Misfits. Was it their lack of a friendly handshake at the end of a dominating Diablos' performance last year or the fact that they edged us out in the standings that has caused this bad blood? Or could it be Dean's two-bird, ball return kicking tantrums? Maybe its Neil's bizarre style / yell / "wrong side" comments that irritates us. Maybe its the Mini Me's.....or maybe its just all of the above. Whatever it is, they are our Green Bay Packers......the team we want to beat the most.

How did we handle this heated rivalry? As our name would imply, we came out on fire. Led by Jim's 215 and our 1st of the year tequila shot (courtesy of JD), we bowled a nice, above average 831, winning by 126 pins. In the 2nd game we were even better. With scores clustered between 154 and 190, we bowled an 849 which led to a 61 point victory. With puffed out chests the team was talking sweep, many of us already putting the dominating victory in the score book.

Unfortunately, the "that's why you play the game" and "don't count your chickens until they are hatched" type phrases are so overused. Was it the affects of the tequila shot on our skills or the mental let down that contributed to what seemed was heading to a 4-3 evening instead of the 7-0 evening? The 743 score and losing the third game by 86 pins may indicate it was both. The bottom line is we could / should have been 7 -0 but we actually were 5-2.....which is a could showing.

Some "fyi" info to ponder: Rosary Florist took and O'fer, dropping into a tie with the Misfits at 21-28, trailing our impressive 31-18 record. Neil claimed he was a 201 bowler last year. In actuality his average was 168 on 10/21/08 and 176 on 4/28/09. While it feels good to catch Neil in a lie, it makes me want to puke thinking he his better than our whole team....YIKES!!

A sub par evening

With the early season success the team has been experiencing comes a certain sense of expectation revolving around our weekly performances. Unfortunately, expectations often lead to disappointment and that is what we experienced Tuesday night. Matching up for the 2nd week in a row against a superior opponent, we limped out of the gate with a 736. Ironically, this is the one game we managed to win. The scores speak for themselves (Dan 184, Brian 150, JD 145, Pat 141 and Mark 116).

Games 2 and 3 were much better efforts ( 803 and 829) for Los Diablos but I think we woke the sleeping bear with our first game victory. The Budmeisters improved on their first game of 873 with a 1003 and a 1001. At least we inspired someone to bowl well. Series for the evening: Dan 536, Pat 495 (close 2nd consecutive week), JD 473, Brian 462 and Mark 402. Actually not all that bad for our current averages but not close to achieving the 5 X 5 goal. How close are we to the 5 X 5 goal, you ask? We have only had 2 bowlers in any week break 500 but we all can (and will again) break 500. Here are our highs for this year: Jim 547, Dan 533, Pat 533, JD 525 and Brian 487. As I speak of attaining a 500 series and providing numbers to indicate all of us can do it, I feel an obligation to also point out that we have had some challenges getting to a 400 series also (Pat 392 and Brian 398). As a reference point, 3 of the 4 Budmesiters had a 600 series capped by a last game 279 by Dominick.

It was not all doom and gloom this week as 2nd place Rosary Florists also went 2-5 so we did not lose any ground. The Misfits, however, swept the evening and must once again be watched closely.

The team continues to jell

We all know the joys and / or pains of waking up with morning wood. It all depends how you "handle" the situation. The same could be said when we are asked to step out of our division and take on the big boys.....in this case, team Morning Wood. Strutting around with an engorged 952 team scratch series average (we just now have reached 800) they clearly knew they had the upper hand playing the Division "A" Los Diablos. How did we handle it you ask? We were clearly "up" for the challenge. With no one really having a great 1st game we bowled an above average 816 (led by Brian's 185) and only lost by a mere 12 pins. We may just have a chance.

Not only did we have a chance, our 2nd game of 838 (Jim M 199, Pat 195, Dan 183) tied the score at 2-2. Pumped up by the 2nd game victory, there was renewed discussion of the newly established 5 by 5 goal. A 500 series was within grasp for all five bowlers. A couple beer frames here, a tequila frame there and we would be all set. Here comes the bad news / good news part: There were no beer frames nor tequila frames and only 2 bowlers hit 500+ (Jim M 545 and Dan 525) (bad news). However, we won the 3rd game by 76 pins, took the evening 5-2, and 2 bowlers came very close to the 500 series (Pat 488 and Brian 487). This all despite Brian throwing what Jim described as the sh%#tiest ball ever. Of course, Brian returned the compliment a couple of balls later claiming Jim had then thrown an even sh%#tier ball (and therefore this had now become the sh#%tiest ball ever). Oh, the encouragement we give one another!!

I will end with a few closing disturbing thoughts regarding a group of men who would call themselves "Morning Wood"....1)at one point after Pat got a strike via the "back door", one of the woodsman enthusiastically pranced up to our table and shrieked "The back door is closed for me!" The uncomfortable involuntary puckering of my sphincter reminded me of the questionable make-up of this league's players. 2) After a particularly good frame by one of the opponents and an exchange of high fives by all, I again felt queasy by the utter delicacy and femininity of his soft hands 3) Why would you have cards with pictures of fat women and men with big Johnsons?

Our first 7-0 evening of the year

This entry will be dedicated more to statistics than to any great wit or wisdom coming from me. First things first...we took the evening 7-0 which is always a good thing. This puts us at 19 - 9 for the season, compared to an 11 -17 record through 4 weeks last year (the Misfits are currently 7 - 21 if anyone is interested). Our team average is 794 this year verses 759 at this time last year.

Individually Jim's 175 average is 50th out of 91 bowlers. He finished last year at 174. JD's 164 average is 63rd and it compares favorably to the year ending 159. Dan's 161 is 68th comparing well to his ending 157. Pat's 149 average ranks him as the 84th best bowler (this still has an asterisk next to it, I believe due to the large plummet in his average and the "anti-sandbagging" rule that is in place). His average last year was 163. Brian ranks 87th with a 146 which is about the 147 he finished with last year. Mark L or P is the 91st best bowler in the league at 133. As a reference point Hank has a 186 average.

I think we all agree we each have the potential to kick it up a notch this year and despite that not really happening as of yet, we are doing great as a team compared to last year. Averaging over 800 scratch as well as all five bowlers getting a 500+ series on the same night should be a realistic goal.

As a note to Brian who put out the challenge to find if JD ever has any "challenging" games. It did not take too long a 118 on 1/27/09 and a 113 on 2/24/09.

Check out the link for Bagtoberfest 2009 pictures.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9041&id=1835017780&l=1eeb668c7e

Struggling to find our team MOJO

It was only one week that the new and improved revamped lime up was in play before a change had to be made. While it may appear to an outside observer that Brian took the night off to try to get his mind right after last week's sub 400 series, the team knew(did we?) that he had a business trip planned. I do recall how manly he told us how he laid down the law at home and had scheduled his trip on Wednesday morning. "Oh, so you don't miss bowling?" his wife sarcastically inquired. "Yes, Damn it, Tuesday is my night with the boys!" Way to man-up captain......um......if bowling is Tuesday and the trip was Wednesday.....um, interesting.

In Brian's absence Dan took over the lead off spot and actually preformed for the first time this year progressively improving each game on the way to a 533 series ( 161, 176, 196). The team welcomed back founding team member Mark (not to be confused with FNG Mark) to take over the #2 spot in the lineup. Mark was all excited as he cast aside the old 8 pounder and displayed his newly acquired black beauty. At times Mark looked like a seasoned pro, the pins exploding as his ball hooked skillfully into the pocket. At other times Mark struggled, unsure what was going to happen as he released the ball. It was at these times I recalled the old joke about Adam getting his first erection. Not knowing exactly what was happening he looked over to Eve and said: "Stand back, I'm not sure how big this thing is going to get!" Mark had a 400 series, finishing nicely with a 153 (128, 119, 153)

Pat was pumped over last week's nice performance and started out OK with a 162. The 2nd game 148 really was not all that bad either (Jim has had 3 games in the 140's in 3 weeks and is still maintaining a 172 average). Unfortunately, these 2 games were as good as it got for Pat as he rode a string of 5 mark less frames to finish the 3rd game with a 117. While falling short of the girly 120's it did exceed Brian 's low water mark from last week of 107. To make things worse, he actually did a "Brooklyn point" while he threw his 2nd ball. The fact that he had a whole rack (actually 9 pins) may have confused him. As he dug in his pockets for the non existent remaining quarters, he declared: "Looks like it is back to practice 3 days a week."

In the battle for the team's top average, Jim out dueled JD 523 to 458 (not much of a battle anchorman!). As is his norm this year, Jim tossed in a 149 just to keep his average from spiking too high or too early. Is it strategy, or is he trying to give JD a fighting chance? Much like last year's explanations (scab on leg and clenched butt cheeks to avoid a bowel blowout), Jim produced a new one for this year......"I have a pain in my ass, don't you know?"

Not much to be said about JD's 458 other than a girly 121 is always going to keep you short of the 525 series he is capable of achieving. Like Pat earlier, JD acknowledged it may be time for a practice session.

We went 2-5 and now sit at 12-9 for the year.

Taking us to the next level

In the past few seasons the lineup has typically included Brian leading off (nothing intimidates an opponent like an erratic straight ball knocking over 5 random pins), Pat and Muck in the middle and Dan bringing up the year (easy fellas, you'll need to get your gay porn references at another site). While this lineup has produced moderately successful results a change was necessary to get to the next level (without actually gaining any real bowling skill of course). Hoping this modification would have the same results as the Doug Collins to Phil Jackson change, the team went the free agency route and was able to lure JD off the golf course a month early (you may ask yourself: "who golfs at 9:00 on a Tuesday night?" but that was the reason provided in the past for not making the commitment to the team). When advised of the preseason mandatory training sessions, JD indignantly rolled his eyes and said "The season starts in September, I'll practice then!"

It was the confidence of a Tiger Woods and the "who needs preseason practice?" attitude of a Brett Favre that convinced the brothers that JD was the man to take over the anchor spot in the lineup. The 2009-2010 lineup was now set: Brian (the team's most improved player PNB*), Dan, Pat, Jim M. and JD. While this line up produced the same results as week one's 5-2, it does have the feel of much greater potential.

In the interest of unbiased reporting I will simply list each bowler's scores. In the interest of "its my blog" I will comment upon those scores. Brian: 107, 140, 151. Really, a 107? Where is the PNB Brian that we saw at the end of last year and has a 175 average potential? Maybe a little practice would help. Dan: 148, 158, 145. Ouch. Second consecutive week of all games hovering around 150. House ball and rental shoes anyone? Pat: 145, 216, 172. A lukewarm start after last week's anemic 392 series (yes, that is for THREE games) but a very nice rebound to 2 solid finishing games. I guess the nightly practice does pay off. Jim M.: 191, 147, 149 and JD: 188, 160, 140. I list these together since it is the battle the team wants to see. Who will emerge as the team's top bowler? If the first game is any indication (191 to 188) we are on our way to two 180+ average bowlers. If the 2nd two games (Jim 148 avg) and JD (150) are any indicator, we will have five 150 bowlers.


After 2 weeks we are 10-4 and in 1st place. If there is any question why some of the good teams hate us try to digest these facts. There are 83 bowlers that have bowled this year. We have 3 of the bottom 15 (Pat at 68, Dan at 74 and Brian 77 ...tied with a Mini ME!!) . JD is 53 and our top bowler is 50th!!!!! We have no one higher than the 60th percentile. Thank goodness for handicaps.

*PNB post new ball

An Evening of firsts

For the third consecutive off season, the team spent considerable time and energy searching for the elusive 5th man to round out the roster. First it was Mark P. who jumped ship in search of the American dream. Mark will be remembered for the famous gutter / spare combo which will forever be affectionatley referred to as a "Prybel". Next it was Ass-pan who fell pray to the pressures of being a dad (do I hear a whip?). Do we not all contemplate removing our shoes every time we stand in a urine puddle as some sort of preverse way of paying homage to Rick's bizarre behavior? Finally, there was Mark the II, also giving the same "I am so important to the company I just can't be spared for one everning of the week" reason. Three letters sums this up......"F" "N" "G".


Speaking of FNG's...Los Diablos welcomes its fourth 5th man in as many years. Clearly the core four has done a respectable job in the past considering the overall lack of bowling skill relative to the rest of the league. Could JD's presence propel the team to its first ever plus 800 average? It did look promising when the team achieved its first beer frame of the season on the first night...could this be the start of something that occurs on a regular basis?

Over the years, this blog has taken some criticism for a bias for and against certain team members. While I continue to threaten to provide "editor" authority to all team members, I have yet to pull the trigger, gong with the "if you want to write a blog, create your own" philosphy. In the following paragraph, I will try to present unbiased facts only (supplied by the new Villa Park Men's league website).

We won the evening 5-2. Misfits went 0-7. JD's 283 one game handicap puts him on the front page as the 2nd high handicap game of the evening. Los Diablos' 1137 handicap series was the 3rd highest, also getting a spot on the front page. There were results of 75 bowlers listed. Jim's 182 average was 30th place. JD's 175 average was 39th place. Brian's 158 was 55th place. Dan's 143 was good for 68th (tied with Dean Corn!) and Pat's 130 was good for 75th place.

Enough said about biased reporting, the facts speak for themselves.

All we need to do is bowl our average

Fresh off the "B" squad's impressive victory the week before, Los Diablos had its #1 and #2 bowlers back and was armed with the news all we needed to do was pick up 3 points tonight and we would be in the playoffs. Couple that with the fact that it was Pat's birthday, everything seemed to be lined up just right, almost the exact opposite of the week before when all odds were stacked against us.

As happens so often in sports, when presented with the opportunity to cease the moment, an individual or a team feels the pressure. The anchor around the neck, the hand against the throat, the quivering knees, the puckering sphincter...we all know the signs all too well. If we bowl our average or better, we have a very good chance of taking the majority of the points. Last week's glorious 2445 series (815 average) was replaced by this week's 2290 (763 average). Altough we win and lose together as a team, it must be pointed out that Pat (519), Brian (466) and Matt (435) all bowled above average.

While Dan has abandoned the "it doesn't matter what I do I still bowl 160 (158)" attitude, his ill advised late season delivery adjustment seems to be poorly timed. Dan did start out in game one earning the Diablos' 1st burrito of the season (followed by Muck and Pat) on the way to a solid 178. This solid start was aborted abruptly when birthday boy Pat, with his left hand on his hip and his right hand limply moving up and down with his index finger pointing at Dan's chest, screeched: "You BITCH!!" This disturbing outburst by his younger brother appeared to have done serious psychological damage and the 178 was followed by an impotent effort of 124 and 136 for a series of 438.

Speaking of puckering sphincters.....Jim seemed much more focused on clenching his butt cheeks together than following through on his delivery. Although we all would have liked to see some better scores, we can be thankful Jim spared us a lifetime's worth of nightmares had we witnessed a back swing bowel blowout. When it became clear to Jim that he would not break a 450 series, a little of the old Jim came to life as he declared he had never been below 450 all season. Jim was correct, tonight's 432 (155, 124, 153) was indeed his lowest. Week ten's 457 (155, 154, 148) was his previous low. Looks like a 1st game 155 is a bad omen for Jim.

Next week we start all over again boys. Let's get back on track.

"B" squad my ASS

What would we do without our rocks, our strength, the number 1 and 2 bowlers on the team? Who would lead us on the trash talking and the "get your head out of your #@%" comments? Despite the gloomy forecast and the prospect of an 0-7 evening, Los Diablos showed up on Tuesday night. How would we put our 776 average up against Hank and the Any Old Strikes' 994 average? With Brian in the familiar lead off spot (no place for headcases tonight), Dan in the anchor spot and JD solidly in the middle, we filled inthe roster with a late arriving Todd and Super Sub 100. The question was in everyone's minds....would Scott break 100 in more than one game this week or would he truly take over as King headcase?

Not only did Scott break 100, his 485 series (175, 181, 129) was 178 pins over last week!! Brian's 520 (163, 213, 144) was followed by Dan 's 503(192, 163, 148), JD's 490 (186, 162, 142) and Todd's 447 (174,128, 145). No need to do the math, that was a whopping 890 in the 1st game, only 12 below our all time best. Needless to say we did an ass whippin' and won by 153 pins. Game 2 saw a slight drop to an 847 but another 2 points nonetheless. This margin was a mere 84 pins. Could we possibly win all 7 or would Hank's corkscrew, annoying style finally get the better of us? We did dip to a sub par 708 in game 3 yet it was good for another 41 pin victory and a 7-0 sweep. Los Diablos was on fire and we tied our all time high handicap series with a 3555. This performance by a "subpar" lineup got the talk going about who truly deserves to be in the starting five and begs the question.......can you afford to miss a week?

As we all say and know all too well, it sure feels better to be taking 5 or 7 points a night verse getting only 1 or 2. Let's keep it rolling.

PS. A couple worthy notes. During his 175 game, Scott earned the right to buy shots and Brian started out game 2 with 5 straight strikes.

Super Sub 100

Two weeks ago the team rebounded nicely by winning all 7 points after taking only one point the previous week. You may recall that was the infamous "Six Pin Pat" walkaway game. This was also the week that Dan had the flawed logic that if he changed the order in which he bowled he would miraculously bowl better than he has been and he could possibly stop the downhill slide his average is currently on (wrong!). This 1-6 evening resulted in the loss of our 1st place standing for the first time in the 2nd half of the season.

As mentioned above, last week the stars were once again aligned and order was restored. The old lineup was back and a very nice 7-0 was the result. This also catapulted us back into 1st place. Take that, Mini Me's and your "sour grapes-leave-without-shaking-hands" attitude. All these updates bring us to this week. Scott was called in from the bullpen to sub for Brian, who despite a previous week's chest thumping declaration: "Tuesday night has always been and always will be my night out with the boys!! No family event will ever trump Tuesday night bowling!!!" Looks like no family event will ever trump bowling unless that family event occurs on a Tuesday night, huh Brian? How ironic it only took 2 weeks for the declaration now known as the "Brian bravado" to be tested and proved to be all hot air.


Despite the team's successful run with our set line-up, Muck's desire to prove he is not a head case and Dan's desire to snap out of a multiple week funk, this week saw the order changed drastically to Muck, Pat, Dan, JD and Scott (now referred to as Super Sub 100, stay tuned for explanation). This shakeup spurred us on to a 665 score (100+ below average). Despite the low score we actually won the 1st game, as well as the 2nd game. We had the 3rd game in hand until the 10th frame when only Muck could muster a mark in the 10th. We lost this game by a very narrow thirty-some pins but still came away with a 5-2 evening. Scott achieved what was previously thought unachievable....2 games below 100. His "high" game of the evening did not even reach the girly 120's. His wild and erratic 20 mile per hour balls (easy fellas) did manage 4 times to knock either the 7 or 10 pin down while careening down the gutter. Hence the name: Super Sub 100. Scott's accomplishments for the evening: 92, 118, 97 for a series 308 as well as 4 score adjustments due to the gutter ball pin knockdown as mentioned above.


Editor's note: It has been awhile since an update to the blog has been entered and I was surprised to see that a previous unpublished draft existed. Although a little outdated, I feel it has some entertainment value to be included in its draft format. Enjoy.


(previously unpublished draft) Every so often Pat tries to spice up the evening as he shows up with some recent injury....be it a distorted, broken finger suffered during a basketball game or a facial contusion caused by blindly walking into a cabinet as he did last season. Apparently, he liked the facial contusion the most as he again showed up with a very distinct, Gorbachev-like mark on his head. "How'd you hurt your head Pat?", we inquired. "Headboard", Pat stated without hesitation. This of course made us all laugh, especially with the knowledge that Mary was not home this weekend! We all gave each other the raised eyebrow glance as we tried to imagine what activity Pat was doing solo that would result in a headboard induced head injury.

Another step closer

Sitting on top of our division with a slight 1 game advantage over last week's opponent, you would think we would be primed for a big night. Brian's adrenaline was still pumping from the glorious 532 series he turned in last week and was out to prove it was no fluke. In five of the first seven frames he got a strike, recording a 77 in the 3rd and a 109 in the 5th. Each time all ten pins hit the floor Brian would shrug his shoulders and sheepishly give us the
"What the f#%k?" look. I can see the Visa commercial now: Pitcher of beer $9.00.....new balling bowl purchased with gift certificate $20.......goofy "what the f#%k" expression on your face when you get another strike?.....PRICELESS! A little slippage at the end still earned Brian a 171.

Along with Brian's nice game, Dan tossed down a 185. With these 2 scores you would think we were on our way to a solid victory. A victory we got, solid it was not. FNG's 104 had him dreaming of golf season, Pat's 147 was non descript and someone needs to explain to Jim that transposing the numbers of your average (182 average, 128 game) does very little to help the team. Despite this uninspired team effort (40 pins below average) we actually won the 1st game by a whopping 8 pins. Dan's first ball strike in the 10th sealed the deal.

Game 2 saw the team "improve" to twenty pins below average and another victory. I guess it is all about match ups and we were fortunate that "Mr. Wonderful" (Jim K.) took time off from his WWF wrestling schedule to try out his new ball against us.

Continuing the below average theme of the evening, we out did ourselves in the 3rd game, plummeting to a 660 team score, a 117 pins below average. Needless to say we lost the third game and total pins to finish 4-3. I am not sure if it was the cockiness of Pat and Jim with the "Be a man, have only 6 quarters in your pocket" taunt of Dan or was it the image of Dan standing naked in front of a mirror etched in everyone's mind that so adversely affected the team? Either way the following efforts of Jim 480, Dan 448, Pat 432, Brian 422 and FNG 369 (failed to reach the girly 120's TWICE) will not lead us to the success we so want to become accustomed to.

Author's note: Ironically Dan tossed in only 1 quarter in the 1st game while Jim and Pat emptied their pockets.

The hottest ticket around!

A new found confidence spurred on by recent ball purchases has Los Diablos' equivalent of the 8th and 9th hitters in a baseball line-up itching to get back on the lanes. Both Brian and Mark have been finding themselves gazing dreamily into space, mouth a gape with a little drool dripping down their chin, fantasizing of new found glory and respect from their team mates. While we appreciate the desire to demonstrate your improvement, a potential sanction may be levied against Mark for his derogatory reference of "Double gutter" directed towards teammate Scott.

The quick 10-4 start to 2nd half of the season even excited JD so much that he could not stay away and stopped by to witness the growing excitement swirling around the team. We took our league low team average of 775 up against the team tied for 1st in our division and the 2nd low average of the league(784). We may have been caught up in our own success as the combination of us bowling 100 below average and them bowling 100 above average led to a 200 pin ass-kicking. Down a quick 2 points, Brian took charge of the 2nd game, putting up a season high score of 199 (up from 119 1st game). Everyone improved over the 1st game: Pat 123 to 190, Jim 149 to 168, Dan 145 to 170 and Scott 130 to 166 which led to a team 893 which is well over our average. This performance tied us 2 to 2 going into game 3.

In the 3rd game Brian again stepped it up and improved his season high of 199 up to a career high 214 on the way to a 532 series. Dan matched Brian's 214 (529), Jim had a 175 (492) Pat shot 167 (480) and Scott had a 127 (423) all leading to a 3rd game victory. Unfortunately, the 200 point deficit in game 1 was too much to overcome and we only came away with a 4-3 evening.

As always, we have a good time and take away certain tidbits each team we play. Whether it was the Mini-Me's, menstrual-like pheromone influenced double strikes or Neal's absolute obsession and irritation with our ability (luck?) of knocking down strikes on the wrong side of town, we can always share a smile with each other. Looking forward to Tuesday, boys.

Los Diablos....back on top!!!

A late rally at the end of the fall season moved Los Diablos into 2nd place in our division. Hard to believe with our once pitiful winning percentage at the beginning that we would somehow manage to "earn" an end of the year play off spot. With only 4 teams per division this seems a little questionable but Brian insists we are in (sorry Jim, no winnings are dispersed in December).

The 2nd half of the season started the week of Christmas, and the team seemed inspired by the $40 gift and free drink coupons, winning the evening 5-2. A much better start to the season than how we did back in the fall. Both Brian and Mark took the plunge, showing up with new balls (bowling not groinal). A sheepish Brian looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar as he was picking out his ball and Dan walked in, only to hear the bowling ball consultant ask: "You want to get better, don't you?" With Dan as a witness, Brian really only had one option for an answer.


With the week of New Year's off, the team showed they were serious about the 2nd half of the season as all 5 core members showed up for Sunday practice. Although Pat and Brian were not able to play this week, Scott and super sub JD filled out the team and we took the evening again winning 5-2. At 10-4 this will put us solidly in 1st place and put our overall record at an even 63-63. This is quite an improvement since we were 24-46 in November!!!

Jim carried us in the 1st game on the strength of 7 consecutive strikes on the way to an impressive 245. JD's career high 225 (215) in the 2nd game led to an excellent 513 series while Mark's career high 178 (165) led to a solid 443. Scott was entertaining as always, at one point completing the classic "Prybel", picking up the spare after a gutter ball. He may have been intrigued at the prospect of having something named after him, so he proceeded to do the unthinkable of throwing a gutter ball in the right alley followed by a gutter ball in the left alley. A stellar 17 in the 2nd frame followed by a 17 in the 3rd was picture worthy but we did not get one. Like it or not, the double gutter will forever be known as an "Atlas".

Oh yeah, one last tidbit. Twice, we had 4 of us get a strike in the same frame, and twice we had the same person miss in that frame. We did get a round of shots out of it though.